Monkey And Gorilla Jokes And Riddles

1st January 2013

What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
(Anything you want, it can't hear you!)

What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
(It won't be long now.)

Where should a monkey go when he loses his tail?
(To a retailer!)

Why don't monkeys play cards in the jungle?
(There are too many cheetahs there!)

Why did the giant ape climbe up the side of the skyscraper?
(The elevator was broken!)
Where do chimps get their gossip?
(On the ape vine!)

What key won't open any door?
(A monkey!)

How do you catch a monkey?
(Climb a tree and act like a banana!)

How do monkeys get down the stairs?
(They slide down the banana-ster!)

Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
(Anywhere it wants!)

What do you call a 2,000 pound gorilla?

Jake: I taught my monkey to play chess.
Amy: She must be very smart.
Jake: Not really, I beat her two games out of three!